Saturday, February 25, 2017

Bleeding for 5 months pregnancy Experience

Hye there. Be caution! This entry will be longer than usual :P

     It was started when I cleaned up my parents' house from dining hall to kitchen by myself on last sunday monday (12/2). On that time my husband was still in bed taking a nap after subuh while parents were out for some works. I did the cleaning cause one of my pets got cirit birit and whole house area was affected with small spot shit everywhere. Euwwww. To leave the dirty unclean until my mom clean it up was not a good idea tho as my mom pon still suffering with muscle pain. No one could handle it so yehh there I was. (I couldn't wait until my husband wake up, it was bloody dirty and smelly). I forgot that I'm pregnant hahaha. So that morning I spent my time to do the housewife's job like usual. Cleaning, mopping, collect rubbish and done.

      I got rest for 30 to 40 mins and continue to cook and serve lunch for my family. My mom suggested us to buy some dishes so that I tak payah masak. Idk why. I think cooking is wayyy better than buying. Then i masak la. Mengada sangat. I already felt the pain on my back. It was like normal pain after finishing an hockey match. So biarlah. I continue cooking and done.

      I rest, took our lunch and I went back to Melaka. Guess what, we did some groceries shopping that evening dengan tenangnya. Eventho i started to feel like so penatt nauzubillah and couldn't stand anymore. I didn't tell my husband. Nanti dia over react suruh rehat je kat rumah.

     We back home. Nothing happen. I laid on my bed as usual. Until that night I went to toilet for refreshing and found the brownish spot on my panty. I thought it was normal. I ignored it and slept zzz.

       Episode 2 happened on the next day. That was scary when I suddenly caught myself bleeding again. It was fresh blood! And banyak sangat. But still I ignored it for hours and went for lunch. I told my colleagues and their respond were cliche. They forced me to check with doctor at clinic and tambah garam pulak pasal miscarriage. I started to blame myself for not taking a fast action on it. Anxiety overload until I cried in the office sambil kemas barang2 nak pergi clinic alone. Hahaha. So dramatic.

       I drove home to take my pink book and  thanks god my husband was there singgah utk solat. I cried in front of him like a kid who lost her mom. He calmed me down and drove me to Klinik Kesihatan Ayer Keroh where I went for monthly pregnancy check up.

      Sampai2 je I told the nurse at registration counter about my bleeding. Suddenly they scolded at me as I supposedly go to hospital besar for further check up. They tot i was bleeding due to miscarriage. But I told them this bleeding iswithout ketulan and no abdomen pain (well, I did some research of miscarriage sign). I cried again lepas kene marah tu hahaha so kesian. My husband hugged my shoulder. His expression was so cool. 😂

      Directly they sent me to the doctor. Doctor interviewed me while her right hand wrote something on pink book. She did scanning my baby. Alhamdulillah everything was fine. Placenta didn't go low, baby's lung in good condition and no any abnormal figures on the scanner screen.

      She checked my uterus with an instrument which i didn't know what it is. What I know is the transparent instrument drove me crazyyyy and in pain. They took the blood sample inside my V and send it to lab. Doc gave me rest for 3 days. The reason of bleeding is unknown. They suspected due to hormonal changes or sexual intercourse. But still no fixed reason on why it happened.

        3rd episode is on next Tuesday after I changed my converter and cadar on my room. It was just a simple move (tak berat pon i guess) and puff belambak bleeding. I told my husband and as usual he gave his ceramah free without I was asking for. :P

       Lunch time, my husband singgah rumah and bought me lunch box. So sweet because he treated me nicely without scolded me on what was happened in the morning. Hihi.

      We decided to keep waiting and observe bleeding size until 3 days following as per doc's advice.

       For whole 3 days of MC, he did all the laundry, cooking, vacuum and everything unstoppable. Frankly speaking, he did cleaning more efficient than me. I just couldn't ask for more. Allah gave me someone that really love me and treat me gently during my sick leave. Alhamdulillah. He completes my life and will always be 😘

       I continued working on Thursday (16/2). No abnormal pain and body dah fresh. I felt more confident on that day eventho the brownish spotting was still flowing out.

         Suddenly the episode was continued when I got a call from clinic staff that evening and interview session was taking part. I updated them on what I went through for 3 days. She straightly asked me to come to clinic for further discussion on Friday. Talked to the doctor who is so soft spoken and really take a good care of her patient was very relief. She worried more than I was. Baby was scanned again and alhamdulillah everything was OK and in place but doctor still tak puas hati sebab she couldn't get the reasons yet due to insufficient tools to finish her report as I was suspected for having cervical incompetence (pangkal rahim lemah) which is scary to hear for every mom to be. Historically, my mom pon ada case ni during 1st and 2nd pregnancy. She got miscarriage for 1 time and pre-mature birth 1 time and I was her 3rd time pregnancy who was alive after she went for treatment and tied her rahim (as what she told me, sorry if my medical term is wrong).

The doctor then referred me to Obstetrics and Gynecology clinic at Hospital Besar Melaka.

          The journey was so uncomfortable and really make me lost my patience. Lets make it short, from 11 am I met the doc until last check up before I was finally warded and got a bed at 11pm. Duhh, it was a long dayy. Nasib baik bukan sakit nak beranak or else kalau tak haihh. But still I had to face it for my beloved baby since I know its low risk case compare to other's weird and high risk cases. I need to keep strong. Allahu.

        The conclusion from the doctor at OnG said my uterus and placenta are OK. No abnormal cases that leads to pre-mature birth or dangareous to baby. Alhamdulillah, thanks Allah for still not taking my baby away. =( Baby weight is normal but keputihan pulak banyak. So they need to observe my pad chart to ensure no serious issue coming up next. So I was warded that day. 

Yeyy, after 24 hours of no more bleeding doctor allowed me to discharge. Yuhuuu. It was a great news after 4 days with depression and anxiety disorder 😂 alhamdulillah. Gila tak depress, everyday I heard babies were crying out load with high risk patient everywhere. Depress cause I know one day I will be facing this kind of problem and I not readyyyyyy =( 

      But aside of feeling uncomfortable staying at hospital, there are a lot of valuable knowledge that I learned through nurses and MO/HO. Even I realized there were stupid answers from my stupid questions, I wouldn't  left my question unanswered hahaha. PR on screening monitor pon I busy body nak tau. Yelah, dah bosan. But the doctors and nurses were nice too and took a good care of me. 

      The other patients in the room (contains 4 patients including me) were very talkative. They shared their stories and experience of giving birth and make fun of it. Boleh pulak, mcm makan goreng pisang. In meanwhile, they taught me how to delivering my baby soon, what to eat and what shouldn't during berpantang. Sometimes I felt hard to adapt and not comfortable with their stories haha maybe sebab nyilu kot. I don't know how its gonna be in labour room, seriously kecut perut bila fikir semua tu. At the end, after seeing the baby all the pains disappeared. They really excited to see their baby even ada kakak tu dah 5 times pregnancy pon still excited nak deliver baby bongsu dia.

      As primid pregnancy, it is essential to take extra care on my diet, my movement and my inner health. Because everything seem to be new for me to handle. InsyaAllah, hope everything goes well. Banyak2 berdoa ya Hana. 

But still need to undergo follow up check with clinic. Reasons still unknown. Bleeding/spotting is still following out until today (on and off). Please pray for me and my baby =) harap sangat I kuat hadap semua ni. 

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Just a simple 'hi' leads us to Walimatulurus


         Syukur alhamdulillah, tanggal 17 Sept 2016 officially bergelar isteri kepada suami tercinta. Tak sangka dan bersyukur sangat2 bila dapat settle down dengan orang yang kite admire. =) so entri ni banyak akan mengbongkar cerita di awal perkenalan kami. Ceh, bongkar sangat. So at the time yang aku rasa down, I'll definitely read this entri all over again just to keep remembering that I had go thru the best and wonderful moment in my life =)

         Ramai yang sedia maklum, aku dengan suami jumpa masa zaman belajar di university lagi. Satu course, 2 sections. So aku dalam section 1, dia pulak section 2. Tapi ada certain kelas kami gabung. Haha. 1st and 2nd year we never knew each other. Setakat tau ada manusia pendiam dalam kelas bernama Firdaus Masnim. Tak pernah teringin nak kenal dia lebih rapat sebab bagi aku mereka yang pendiam ni sombong dan ada yang momokkan aku lelaki pendiam ni bahaya. Sejauh mana bahaya tu haa aku je tau sebab sekarang dah jadi laki aku pon. :D let I present him as 'FM'. 

        Lagi satu sebab kenapa aku tak nak kenal dengan dia sebab rasa insecure dengan lagak dia yang cool, lagi pulak lah dia ni gaya macam bebudak keyel yang rasanya tak pandang pon perempuan harok macam aku hahaha. So nak jadikan cerita, satu hari aku keluar makan dengan kawan lepak aku Sunyo (bukan nama sebenar) dgn official bitch aku Zana (juga bukan nama sebenar). Sunyo ni housemate kepada suami aku. Sunyo dengan Zana dua dua bitch jugak perangai, tapi malas nak sembang pasal diorang sebab main character here is suami aku kahkah. 

       Tempat pertama kami lepak adalah McD Dataran Pahlawan. Masa ni kami berempat je. Atas dasar apa aku tak ingat. Tahun ketiga kot rasanya. Masa tengah borak2, macam2 lah cerita puaka dari aku dan bitch2 yang lain kecuali dia. Dia sangat menjaga tutur kata dan hanya pandang aku dgn Zana sekilas je mcm tu. Selebihnya dia banyak focus pada makanan depan mata which is sekarang pon sama je walaupon bini ade sebelah tengah tenung dia. -.-' . MasyaAllah budak ni, dah lah handsome, baik pulak tu.  *time ni hati dah mula tertanya-tanya siapa mamat ni sebenarnya. Cool nak mampos. Member keliling elok bergaul kasar dia tetap masih kekalkan kesantunan dan ke'cool'an dia.*. Nasib baik iman akak tak berapa ada time tu. Fikir nak have fun je, kalau tak time tu jugak akak dah pinang kau dengan Bismillah duh duh.

21 Mac, McD Dataran Pahlawan, 12 am. 

     Time neh takde apa perasaan lagi. Cuma kalau aku carut sikit mulalah Sunyo suruh FM diamkan aku. Dan aku rasa Sunyo orang pertama yang bawak aku ke bibit2 seterusnya utk sesi pengenalan hahha. Thank you broo! you never know how you means a lot in our life now. Tapi permulaan cerita tak semudah tuuu. Aku punya nakal time neh, duk kenenkan Zana pulak dengan dia. Macam tak memasal je hahaha aku punya baik siap sampaikan salam kat FM hari2 dalam kelas untuk Zana padahal takde la Zana beriya kirim salam tu. Yelah zaman nakal kan. Semua orang aku 'usik'. Sekali boleh 'terusik' pulak ke hati sendiri. Auch 

Alamak hai. 

3 bulan berlalu. Aku dengan hal aku. Dia pon dengan hal dia. Struggle untuk final exam sem 5 tiba2 exam pon habis. Time ni lah start hati berbunga bunga sebab member2 kenenkan lagi untuk bergambar berdua lepas paper last exam. Terutama Shu (juga bukan nama sebenar). Time neh dia punya maluu. MasyaAllah... MALU TAPI MAHU hahhahha. Dah kene paksa, selfie je lah kan. Kang member label tak sporting pulak. 

Depan dewan UTEM okay. Punya lejen. 

      Start selfie ni hati dah mula seriau fikirkan dia. Masakan tidak, kalau dia pon tak hingin dari awal lagi dia dah tolak selfie dgn aku. So kau nampak tak hint kat situ? Orang buta hati je tak perasan. Hahahha time neh aku dah rasa something dah. Mulalah cetan kecil buat kerja untuk aku mulakan langkah seterus. Hahahhaa. K stop gelak. Kelaka sangat ke eh. 

      Aktiviti kelas sebelum cuti sem, futsal. Aku pon joinlah padahal dapat main sekali je sebab tergolek atas court. Disebabkan kaki yang menebal seperti bangku, so tengok je lah orang main. Tengah2 tengok, sekali FM buat aksi pulak halamak wei handsome siot. Pergh, getar tulang menulang tengok. Hahahha. Over! Time nih aku tengah lepak dgn super abang besar aku, terus aku tanyakan dia pasal FM. Yelah biasa abang2 ni berpengalaman. Muhihi  

     Dan mesti korang pelik, sapa yang start conversation dulu. Kalau nak ikotkan tahap ketebalan pemalu aku lagi tipis dari dia, maka aku beranikan diri say hi ke whats app diaaa maka puff termenterailah ikatan perkahwinan antara aku dan dia. BAHHAHAHA. Just a simple hi je beb. Pls, jangan ingat lelaki je boleh start. Kita perempuan lagi bagus kalau dapat pilih imam kita sendiri. Tak gitu? Bahhaha 

      Alhamdulillah, 4 tahun bersama dilalui dengan dugaan yang tak putus2 tiba. Dari final year project sampailah struggling for job hunting. Bertunang pon tak lama, 6 bulan. Zaman bertunang yang aku lalui berliku-liku juga, yelah after graduate and just got employed for not more than a year. Nak simpan duit lagi, nak spend for family lg. (yang ni aku akan cerita next entry la) hihi.

    Syukur sebab zaman nakal aku dah berakhir bila dengan dia diri jadi behave sikit sampai ramai kekawan aku rindu mana hilangnya Hana yang puaka. HAHA. Sorry gais, aku sedang melawan diri sendiri untuk jadi terbaik sebelom kahwin, of course dengan kata2 semangat dari FM sendiri. Sampai ada yang kata aku dengan dia mcm langit dan bumi dia punya beza. Tu aku setuju! Muehehhe. Dia sangat pendiam, sangat cool, fikir sebelum apa2 tindakan yang dia buat, sangat pentingkan family dia terutama Mama. Lagi kenal, lagi sayang. Ecewah. Berbeza dgn perangai aku yang hmmm takpelah (kau isi la sendiri nanti) hahahha. 

     My point is if you want the best in your life, give your best in everything. Nak dapat suami baik, jadi baik dulu. I was just a little bithh that wants her proper life again. Mungkin doa dari mak dan ayah untuk ketemukan jodoh yang terbaik untuk aku. Alhamdulillah, I'm happy now, with my new life, new phase, new environment, new family dan tanggungjawap pon dah baru. hihi. 

     Thank you Allah for sending me a husband that always reminds me to solat awal, always act like pengetua sekolah suruh pergi mandi (hahaha), always ajak for jemaah, always think out of the box for our future and very responsible to his family. InsyaAllah, I will take care of this marriage and promise to always make him happy. Thru ups and downs, hope that there is always 'love' between us. May we strong for many years ahead and bercinta sampai Jannah. Amin! Pray for us guys. Wish you a happy life too, remember to always think of Allah =)

Belanja gambar prom night, graduation day, engagement day and finally wedding day. Alhamdullilah. thank you for reading >,<

*pss cerita la pulak awal perkenalan korang. =)